The Attributes

I've decided after a short thought that the attributes of each of these real life men or their roles in films would make one fine man! 

The voice of

The spunk and humor of

The loyalty and patriotism of

The brains and money of

The spirituality of 

The wittiness of 

AND the looks and body of

and there ya go. Fine me one please. And then i will do this...

GRAHHH!!

WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING TO ME?!

I KNOW I SHOULD BE TALKING TO YOU BUT NOT. IT'S A WHOLE THING BUT YEAH. 

Nothin's Gonna Change My World

Man I know I just had my heart broken, and crushed into the mud, then run over, then a dog pissed on it, then a dirty drunk came and spat tobacco on it. So now all my friends are trying to set me up, which I'm glad they want to help out, but with my luck with guys this year, I really don't want to worry about that. I like just kickin it back and thinking of myself for a change and what I want. I don't hate boys, well I kind of do, I just want to be myself for a change.

Which is probably why I love The Beatles. I loved them in junior high, and still to this day they are my most favorite!!! They just remind me to take life as it comes, and roll with the punches. I know it's cheesy but their music has this freedom sound to it, not like American freedom haha, but this feeling of being yourself and being ok with it.

So yeah i appreciate the jester of wanting to set me up with cute guys, but I'm sick of getting my heartbroken. Things were easier when i was 30 lbs heavier, didn't wear make up, and walked around in basketball shorts and an oversized t-shirt, and listened to Beatles music 24/7.

Which is why exactly right now I'm watching Across the Universe and freakin enjoying being single, and waiting for my Jude to come and be my best friend forever lol! Maybe that's just what I need. That feeling of having a best friend. I had that with Mark, but when you break up... yeah that shit is gone. I wish we never became a couple and just remained close friends. Man I'm an idiot.

Awkward Moments

So I wasn't planning on going to FHE last night, but my friend made a deal with me that we'd sit in the back and leave right after. You have to know our ward had a Peter Breinholt concert, and I like his music. I wanted to see Peter Brienholt so bad, but I didn't want to see Mark!. Well I got home and I had some texts I had gotten while I was driving home. One was from my friend Erica, the other *sigh* Mark. He wrote "Please come to FHE tonight! You can sit by me :)"

As much as I wanted to reply and say "Yes I would love to" I didn't. I"ll admit I miss him and it's only been like 2 days! How pathetic?! Well anyways my friend convinced me to go and we sat in the back like she promised and we watched the concert. But anytime everyone looked back to see who was asking Peter a question I was all like

So afterwards I was ready to bail but no my friends got caught up in conversations. I was like "WE NEED TO EFFN GO!" Mark was there but on the opposite side, and already talking to a new girl. But low and behold Aaron comes running over and gives me a huge hug. "You doing ok?" "I'm doing alright, a long night but..." When really I was ready to cry because Peter's first song basically described my last date with Mark. But Aaron said that he was on my side about the whole thing, so I have a feeling he knows something I don't. When I texted him later asking him what Mark said about breaking up with me he said he'd tell me later in person. I don't get it. Anyway the girl Mark was talking to came over and started chatting with Aaron, Mark and I made eye contact and he game trotting over like nothing was wrong, but on the inside I was like...

But I put on the brave face and was a nice person, when I really wanted to just cry, or get mad, or both. Right now personally I just lost a friend, even though we said we'd try to be friends, but I tried that with Aaron and everyday was a living hell, knowing he liked another girl and I was just there. It's gonna be a while till I can go back and act like nothing happened. Mark is a sweetheart, he just has some issues that are beyond his control, which those reasons are probably why he broke up with me. Even though he had three lame ass excuses, not sure which one to believe. Well I'm gonna have a good cry tonight because this just sucks.

What The?

So last night I'm getting ready to go to a movie with Gordon and his buddies when I get a text from Mark. I was surprised, i mean we were texting earlier that day but this one stopped me in my tracks. "Hey so do you need space?"

Um... yeah him and i have been going out the past 4 weeks. So i reply, "what do you mean?" Of course i know what he means, but I wasn't sure what he was implying. "I feel like I'm taking you away from your friends." "Not at all why do you think that?" "Because we've been hanging out every weekend." "Yeah so? I don't hate it, do you?" The way that was texted probably sounded pissed, but i wasn't. I just hate guys mind games. So retarded. Who's with me?!

To continue "No, I love it! I Just worry about your friends." Anyway we concluded we like hanging out with each other and we want to go out this weekend again. I told him I'd plan it this time. I have no idea what to do. Should be interesting. He told me he likes talkin to me and hanging out with me. Kids is still the most quiet kid ever, but we'll see how things go. I still have a hard time trusting him, but people change right? He needs some growing up to do. But then again I REALLY want to take his VL. Does that make me a bad person?

Therapudic

I just need this song right now. I have so much bottled up emotion! Skillet and Breaking Benjiman, Eminem, if you know of any others that are like them let me know! I need some major anxiety songs.

Not Going To School... Yet

Yes I am cool and not going to school. Actually I'm not gonna lie, I'm quite jealous of all my friends for going to school. Good thing I have institute, once a week, for an hour and a half. That is my social life, and then the little doo dads with the singles ward, then sometimes dates with Mark, and Gordon dragging me to random things. I need to hang out with girls, no i really do. The people I hang out with in the singles ward are guys, and you already know who they are.

I could go on about that, but i think I'm just going to keep my boy thoughts to myself for this blog. Save ya'll the pain, and I'm pretty sure I can imagine what you're thinking.

SO SINCE I'm not going to school, i will be focusing my life on Jesus. Yes I mean i already do, but I'm going to be going the whole 9 yards like every Mormon girl should. Read my scriptures, journal writing, institute attending, temple attending, praying, and i'm sure i can think of more. But it's been working, focusing on more important things has made life seem more easier. I do love my church, in fact today a friend in California was asking questions about the Book of Mormon, missionary moment, it was awesome.

PS haha ugly crier from New Girl. I just love this show. I have mentioned it?

Donald Rant... again...

if this man ever came back to life, this is what i'd be doing. 

and that's not creepy.... 

So fantastic

Now that I have the TV to myself, i can watch whatever i want. including the most hilarious show since Seinfeld...

Little Women

So obviously my emotions are on the surface today. My mom even suggested that I move... crazy right?
Anyway of course every Sunday Heather, the little Bon Qui Qui, watches Little Women, and I do love that movie. Lately I've been praying just to feel loved, because sometimes you feel like you're being taken advantage of. You put your whole heart into a friendship and you feel like that they don't appreciate you. I love all my friends so very dearly, and I hope they know that.

So back to Little Women, I was thinking about my family, and my sisters especially and how, no matter what i do they still love me and would do anything for me just like in Little Women. The three of us compare ourselves to the sisters in Little Women, I'm Joe, Heather is Amy, and Rachel is Meg.

But My family loves me no matter what and I love that, even though they'll be gone all weekend... which sucks. But I need some "I hate my life time and I don't want anyone to see" lol. Good crying chick flick, and ice cream. Then of course I might see the boys I don't want to see and hurt myself all over again. 

I rock... NOT!

Worth the Wait

He's so cute and he asked me out again! I AM VICTORIOUS!!

BUT I AM! Came back to the house and jammed to ET by Katy Perry! MWAHA! 

HURRY UP!!!

WHY CAN'T IT BE TOMORROW NIGHT ALREADY?!?!?!

Good, or GREAT?

This weekend could be totally awesome, or fail epically? You know why? Because sometimes I can be a pessimist. You see here's the thing....

So it has been a nice weekend, on the beach at  Bear Lake, wave running, watching movies, eating MnM's and being as lazy as possible. It was great to relax even though tomorrow I have to go to work which....

But this weekend begins basically tomorrow after work. Aaron and I will be demolishing the pig FINALLY oh my gosh that thing is retarded. Friday I'm hanging out with a friend, which I'm going to call it date because he's making it sound like a date even though he clearly said  we were hanging out. Then Saturday I'm seeing...

YES I AM

Then going to a toga party at a friends house while all this weekend I'm house sitting. SO should be fun... in a way.... Get a house to myself and sleep in a HUGE bed and watch all the New Girl I freakin want! "Uno bitches" lol

Singin in the Rain

BEST MOVIE EVER! OK well Lord of the Rings is still number one but I freakin love that movie, and not just because Donald O'connor is the love of my life...

... but because it's happy and there's nothing sad about it, there's just pure joy through the whole movie. Dancing, singing, and it rains lol it's just fantastic. Always will be in my top 5 favorites!!! Along with LOTR, Inception, Wizard of Oz, and The Avengers.
So went with my friend Buffy who loves movies just as much as me and yes afterwards she was like "Donald is a lot like Aaron."

Believe me i know this, which is why i probably like him so much... meaining Donald. OK yes i admit i still like Aaron but if he still wants to be more then friends he can do it, I said what I had to say and there.
BUT all in all SINGING IN THE RAIN IS SO WICKED AWESOME! I can't stop thinking about how awesome Gene Kelly is. He choreographed every dance... except Make Em Laugh... well a few parts he did but Donald did most of it. SO fantastic YOU TWO YOU ARE JUST MY FAVORITE MEN TO EVER WALK THIS EARTH! I want them!!

FAIL!

Steve Nash you are so uncool now! HOW DARE YOU GO TO THE LAKERS?! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO COME TO THE JAZZ! The Lakers are full of douchebags! You can't be one of them, but now you are. FAIL FAIL FAIL!

Obamacare

Really Supreme Court? REALLY?! I MEAN WTF?!?!?!?

You say it's unconstitutional but it's a tax so it's constitutional? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN THINKING?!?! HAVE YOU EVER EVER BEEN TO A HOSPITAL?! WHY DO YOU THINK I WORK MY ASS OFF?! I am an American who is going to work for what i deserve! PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE ENTITLED TO EVERYTHING BECAUSE THEY'RE AMERICAN! Well guess what people? YOU ARE NOT! UGH!!! I"m one of the less then 50% of people that pay taxes so you can sit on your rear and feel entitled because YOU ARE USING MY HARD EARNED CASH! SO PISSED!!

New Girl is Amazing

Ha yes i love New Girl. I'm not sure if you knew that yet, it's just such a fantastic show. I've come to realize that i do have guy friends like Schmidt, Nick and Winston. My guy friends and who they are. Good thing they don't read this or they might kill me.

Schmidt is hands down Aaron. Home maker, a little obsessive about things, and kind of a geek. PS don't use his towel or dirty his car. Oh wow this is kind of creepy.

Nick is definitely Gordon... i think. Probably the most normal, but him and i can make jokes and go off on tangents and it makes life silly. Nick is silly and he's obsessed with having a girlfriend just like Gordon. Wow life would be insane if all of these guy friends lived with me.

And last Ryan is definitely Winston. They both love sports, spend their life with sports and yes there we go. He wants to be a free spirit and he is, and he secretly has embarrassing things he does. It's so fantastic! It's so awesome! lol i can see him singing Defying Gravity on his way to Mexico.

Yup this is what i do on my nights off. Exciting right? lol well back to more NEW GIRL!!!